No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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