I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
