oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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