Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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