once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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