My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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