Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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