Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
