these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
