i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
