whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
