Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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