You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
