im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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