her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
