I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
