i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
