The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
