And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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