Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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