sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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