i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
