Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize
