I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i believe in u and ur pee
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
