Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize