I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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