like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
