Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
