wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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