This dress was meant to end up on your floor
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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