Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
