i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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