dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
