my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize