Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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