After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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