We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
