I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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