tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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