Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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