Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
