Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
