and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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