this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
