i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
