the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Randomize
