Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
