you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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