I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
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