dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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