life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
