If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
