Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
