So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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