I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
