Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize