Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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