Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
