Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
