His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
