Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My vagina just recognized that song.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
