Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i've created a new STD.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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